I got into University and I tried to stay in touch. I allowed him to come around when convenient and it was so much that I could talk and confide in him when in doubt or in need. There were several situations where I needed some form of guidance and no one could help. I remember when dealing with SOC 103-Anthropology. I just couldn’t wrap my head around human evolution. How I found myself in a class discussing Darwin's theory of evolution, homosapiens, and what have you, I couldn’t even figure out. It was Greek to me and I knew I needed help with understanding the course in other to pass. Guess who came to my rescue. oh yes, it was my knight in shining armor. How? I really can’t say but I got wind of it, somehow I was able to understand and I did pass with a good grade.
As I could count on him I had to keep in touch. Gradually I assumed things got good (better) and he was becoming a bit more involved in my decisions. There were things I got his consent for, some I didn’t and for some, I didn’t even bring to his attention but I guess he knew anyways. As he wanted us to make decisions together, it felt really strange and it seemed difficult having to wait to speak with him before making any.
Often times I allowed distance between us. I just was inconsistent with my commitment. Felt like we were “on” and “off” in a relationship I never truly committed to yet he was patient, annoyingly patient, and confident. Confident that I’d grow into loving him and appreciating the fact that he will forever be in my corner.
It has taken us years and I believe we are still working on my commitment issues but I have now realized that not only can I not love him as he does me, but he also doesn’t expect me to and his love is enough for us.
In my inconsistency, he has remained unpredictably consistent!
In his patience, his love began to transform me and still transforms me
Some say I am soft-spoken, I got that from him
Some know me to give people the benefit of the doubt, he taught and showed me how
I am learning to love from being loved by him
And if you see any good in me attribute it to him, the one who is love
For in him I move, live and have my existence
My love.
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