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Monisola Lawal

Lis·ten

I love to lis(ə)n and think myself to be good at it. A lot of people also think me to be as I'd rather listen than talk. Now, when you do something consistently you tend to become somewhat of an expert, assume it is your area of gifting or something of the sort and so I think.

The more I listened, the more I felt needed, and before long I began to listen to have the right words or advice. Without realizing it, I started defining my value based on that. I had to live up to the expectation of being a good listener.

Then it became hard not to interrupt and complete sentences for others. It became difficult to just listen and I started becoming impatient even at listening. More impatient when you think you have the solution to some challenges and your "solutions" falls on deaf ears.

At some point, it occurred to me that I wasn't doing myself any good neither was I doing others by thinking that I was needed or I was able to fix whatever needed to be fixed by my opinion and words.

So what do I do now? I try to listen because I want to. I listen because someone needs a listening ear. It is part of where my strength lies. I listen because I may have the time, patience, and maybe some words of counsel. I no longer listen because I need to or must have the right answers and when I don't have anyone to listen to or “fix”, it's okay.

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