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My pain before others I hide but not with you

My tears not visible to any, yet you collect them all

I crawl into a ball, my petiteness an advantage

In a state, I can't define or describe

Unbelief or numbness as I can't seem to feel anything, how much more doubt anything

As I lay still, not in your presence yet knowing you are near

I feel you, so close as always

Can't hear you but I hear you. I hear the reminders

I don't want to feel this way

Yet it is a reminder of my vulnerability, making me everly dependent on you